Why I Hate Ohio State

Disclaimer: This post is directed towards roughly 20% of Ohio State fans. The remaining 80% are regular people who can enjoy the sport without being a prick. It's just a shame that a few can ruin an entire school's reputation.

I'll make no excuses. I hate Ohio State. I hate everything about their football program. Everything from their toilet bowl stadium to their salvation army-style band uniforms. I have no respect for their coach, their players or their arrogant asshole fans.

First of all, let me back things up a little bit. I was born and raised in Ohio. I lived there for the first 24 years of my life. I went to college in Ohio. I have more Ohio friends than I could ever count...most of which would gladly choose Ohio State over Michigan in a Pepsi challenge.

My family was divided growing up. One half was all Michigan fans, one half was all Ohio State fans. I had an Ohio State family, and a Michigan family. We lived in Toledo, which is pretty much a border town right on Route 23, which connects Columbus and Ann Arbor.

There are many pictures of me in my younger years wearing Ohio State garb. Scarlett and gray were my colors of choice until junior high. I was young, stupid, and I didn't know any better much less care. I knew of Michigan, I knew of Bo and Woody. I had heard of how big Michigan Stadium was. But the half of my family with OSU ties were much stronger than that of my Michigan family. They took me to OSU games every year. I ran around on the field after a game with Brutus the Buckeye doing Script Ohio. I knew the OSU fight song almost by heart.

It was sick.

However, in junior high, my Michigan family started to fight back. Me and my brother went with my Dad to our first Michigan game. On September 26, 1992, I attended the Michigan v. Houston game. We tailgated before the game at Pioneer. We walked around the stadium before the game. And as we took our seats, the Michigan band came marching out onto the field. It was a sight to behold.

I can pinpoint my entire allegiance to Michigan to one singular moment. When Tyrone Wheatley ran the opening kickoff back for a touchdown. That was it. I was a fan for life. Michigan went on to route Houston 61-7.

Since then, I have attended 28 games. My all-time record is 24-4. I have been to only one Michigan-OSU game, in 1999. I have seen Michigan lose to Penn State, Syracuse, Appalachian State and Oregon.

My family could tell you in stark detail my reaction to Kordell Stewart's 70-yard hail mary back in 1994. We were at a hotel in Oxford, OH on the campus of Miami University, where my brother attended. I just fell face first onto the bed and chucked the remote into the wall. Not one of my prouder moments. But the point is, I caught the maize & blue bug quickly. Within two years, I was living and dying with each game.

But, through all of the ups and downs that all die hard sports fans experience with their chosen teams, there is always one team that just irks the hell out of you. For about 85% of Michigan fans, its Ohio State.

Sure, there are those who will claim little brother has the edge in the rivalry department, but I assure you, Michigan v. Ohio State is the king of all rivalries. And what makes a rivalry great? Pure hatred for the other team.

Some think that a modest respect for ones foe is not only cordial, but necessary. I disagree. I never want Ohio State to win. I never want Rodriguez to even shake hands at midfield with Sir Teflon. If a player chooses OSU over Michigan, or has the audacity to transfer, his picture should hang in the Michigan locker room so every Wolverine knows who they should hate.

But it's not Tressell that makes me hate Ohio State the most. No, it most certainly has to go to the fans. Ohio State fans are the worst. Because, for OSU fans, there is no casual fan. Columbus has no other sport worth watching. Ohio State has the market cornered. There are a few MAC schools in Ohio, and you also have Cincinnati, but who cares? And couple that with a general sense of "Ohio boredom", and you have a legion of blindly obsessed Buckeye supporters.

Now I'm not going to turn this into a "Michigan-is-better-than-Ohio-State-because..." post. We've all heard that argument. It's been raging since the beginning of time. No, this is simply just my personal tangent about why I just can't stand Ohio State. And in no specific order, here are some of my reasons...

• Your coach is a prick. Sorry, but its true. Yes, he can recruit good players, but he also pays them...that has been proven. For some reason he gets a pass from the NCAA. He also tends to recruit more than the typical amount of thugs. All schools have them, but OSU has more.

• Your mascot sucks. Who wants to cheer for a nut that falls off of a tree. And further, why make necklaces out of them? That alone exemplifies my "there is nothing to do in Ohio" argument.

• Your uniforms don't match. Will someone please write a letter or call the athletic department and let them know. For as long as I can remember, the helmets are silver and the pants are gray. Or maybe they are a shiny gray sheen fabric. Either way, they don't match. It bugs me.

• Your stadium resembles a toilet seat. I know its ground zero for all things Buckeye, but its not a pretty stadium...from the outside anyway. But I will give you props for finally getting a field that doesn't come up in 10 pound chunks when a player tries to plant and turn.

• Your band is not the best in the land. Your band is good. Michigan's band is good. But neither is the best. They are good at marching, playing songs, and giving the halftime crowd something to look at. But for 300-pound men to wear hats and shirts that have "TBDBITL" on it is just sad. And do they need to play the fight song on every play that gains yards?

• Your fans. Oh my your fans. The most obnoxious group of people in the world. Hey, has Michigan gone 4 years since beating Ohio State??? I can't remember. Will someone please remind me?

Look, I'm not saying that being loyal and supportive to one's team is a bad thing. But there are levels of being a fan. And right now, the Ohio State bandwagon is about as full as it can get. I know you've experienced a ridiculous amount of success recently, but lets dial it down a notch here and there.

Please don't call me a jealous Michigan fan...there is nothing I am jealous of Ohio State about. And I am also not trying to imply that Michigan is the the be-all end-all of college football. Yes, I am a Michigan fan for life, but I am also a fan of college football too.

So, in closing, to all the alcoholic dumbass OSU fans out there who let their game day drinking and obnoxious behavior go way too far...I despise you. Keep on being a jackass. You're ruining college football one burning car and one empty can of Old Milwaukee at a time.